Always
by mockingjosh
Summary: Clare Edwards was always a part of Eli Goldsworthy's life.  Even now, after everything they've been through, Eli can't find the strength to get over her, but he knows he will always love her, and with that conclusion, he is neutral. Post DTW


Summary: He didn't care about what happened between them. Because he would still love her. Always.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, and of its characters, or any of the novels I mention in this story.**

Looking through all of the polaroids, he can't help but laugh at the irony. Every single picture holds a memory of them. Whether it was them on one of their dates, hanging out with Adam, or in Morty, they all hurt the same. At least two hundred photographs were spread out amongst his bed, and his heart breaks at the sight of each one.

Because they look so happy. Every picture holds his surprised, wonderful, loving face, next to an excitingly beautiful Clare, and sometimes a dorky, suave Adam. He picks up one, right by his foot, and his heart drops. It's him, Clare, and Adam at the abandoned church, and him and Clare are kissing, cheeks bright red, and Adam in the background, pretending to gag. They all appeared ecstatic, and Eli remembers the moment as clear as day.

"_You're trying to tell me, that Vonnegut is a half a decent writer as Palahniuk? I shun you, woman!" Eli bellowed in disbelief at Clare._

"_You are just jealous." She retorted playfully, her head held up high in confidence._

"_And why is that?" He cocked his head to the side, challengingly._

"_Because I can recognize fine literature at its best! I mean, seriously? Palahniuk's 'Invisible Monsters' was amazing! Way better than anything that Vonnegut has ever published. Just face it, Eli…" She paused for some dramatic affect. "You. Are. Wrong."_

_Eli gasped in disbelief. "I am not! You just can't-''_

"_SHUT UP! I swear you guys are like a married couple…." Adam groaned. "We aren't here to argue about authors and books; we are here to take pictures for our presentation about nature for Mrs. Dawes." He scolded, then taking the camera from the bag, and slinging it around his neck._

_Eli and Clare glanced at each other, agreeing without words to drop the subject to save Adam's sanity._

_~o~o~_

"_Adam…." Eli whined. "We've been taking pictures of grass for 45 minutes!"_

_Adam leans up from the ground, taking his eyes away from the focus catcher of the camera, and scoffs at his impatient friend. _

"_Well, we were given 2 hours to take pictures, and Mrs. Dawes won't let us into the classroom until 4:30. What else do you suggest we do?"_

_Eli looked up, deep in thought. He then snapped his fingers. "Ah! I got it."_

_He gently grabbed the camera from Adam's neck, and held it out in front of him, but not before taking Clare in for a kiss. "EW dude. Not here." Adam yelled, and made a disgusted face from behind them and closing his eyes. He hears a small 'click'._

_Eli broke from their kiss, and took the camera back into his view. _

"_What are you looking at?" Clare asked, leaning into Eli to observe the screen as well. Adam doesn't know what they are looking at, but he sees Clare's cheeks flush, kissing Eli once more._

"_What?"_

"_See for yourself, machismo…" Eli answers through the side of his mouth, considering Clare is still kissing him, and then throwing Adam the camera. _

_As Adam glances down, he snorts in amusement. Eli, the closet romantic._

The picture captured it all, the young lovers, and the adorable, disgusted friend. Truth in a snapshot.

He loves this picture, he always has. But he hates it. Because it represents the one thing he keeps trying to erase from his memory.

_He fell in love with her._

Clear as day. Simple as that. Those 6 words gave him pain in his gut.

He didn't just fall in love with her, no no.

He fell in love with her kind heart. How every word out of her mouth came from there. Even if she was fuming with hatred and irritation, she was so passionate.

Her honesty and integrity; how whenever someone was in a bad situation, she would never judge them, even if the predicament went against all of her beliefs.

Her beautiful laughter, how she would throw her head back when she was in comedic hysterics.

Her amazing writing ability, how she could shelter herself from the world and sit there for hours, jotting down her feelings and outlook on things.

Her deep mindset on things; she didn't back down when it came to one of their arguments. She would belt out her feelings on the subject, and always have a witty comeback to every one of his.

And if all of that wasn't enough, he fell in love with those beautiful blue eyes. The ones that captivated him; he could stare into them for hours and never lose interest, because he would always be searching for something. The emotions they held; how they would get bigger with excitement and curiosity, yet never lose brightness. How they would darken with anger when he pissed her off, like a tornado of rage, tearing through his soul, her pupils becoming larger; but she could never look less stunning.

All of that wrapped into one beautiful soul; she was the one for him. But he ruined it. He cared, too much. And no matter how much he hated to admit it; the breakup was good for her. Because she was too good for him, too amazing, too kind hearted. She needed to move on, and find someone who deserves her, who can make her more happy than he ever could, who could love her more unconditionally than he could, if possible.

He hates her. He utterly and completely hates her. In fact, he cannot stand her.

But he loves her. And he will, forever on. Always.

**Good? Bad? Review? Not my first fanfiction, just my first published one.**


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